I had a dream earlier this week. I had been invited to an event of some sort. It sounded like fun. I knew where it was being held. I’d been there before. I went in the back door. I was the only person at the event to come in that way. I was familiar with the venue, but not the group. The group was familiar with each other, but not that particular venue.
As the event progressed, I realized something wasn’t right about it. There wasn’t enough food…or there was the possibility that there wasn’t enough food to go around. Part of the “agenda” for the event was the rush for food. I was thinking to myself, there is no way I am partaking in this, especially since it’s orchestrated. It’s bleeped up.
That’s when I decided to leave the day-long event. It was mid-morning, but I didn’t feel badly about leaving, although it was a little awkward since I was the only one leaving. As I tried to slip out, one of the organizers made a reference to “when” I come back. I thought to myself, I am definitely not coming back, but I just smiled and left.
I happily went on my way with a feeling of relief. I still had most of the day ahead of me to do something that I enjoyed. I felt really good. The day was full of promise.
I had this dream the night after I found out about some drama with Harley’s family. My feelings were hurt because I was felt I was being pulled into their family drama…and I cannot stand drama.
What it all boils down to is this. I’ve been there before. I’ve dealt with all of the drama. I am not going back. The drama is unnecessary. The perceived competition for a lack of resources (parental attention?) is a family construction. The kids are anxious. They want attention. They want reassurance. And they have no idea how to get it. It’s like throwing a piece of meat to a pack of hungry dogs…they are willing to fight for it. This seems to be what is going on unconsciously in the family. This is a pattern years in the making.
I choose not to partake in the dysfunction. Every time this kind of thing happens, I will step back. I will somehow remove myself from the situation. Over time, they will learn that when they are calm and relaxed and pleasant to each other, I will be there for them. This is a process and it will take time.